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a budget is not a restriction, a budget is a plan

We’re back for another jam-packed episode of The Anxious Creative podcast and friend, I am so glad that you’re here. 

I’ve got a very special guest for you in this episode, we’re going to melt away the stress and anxiety that you have around your money. If that sounds like exactly what you need then you are gonna LOVE this episode. Listen in or read on as I chat with my very dear friend and one of the most genuine people I know, Misty Jayne. 

Never Say Never

In order to know how Misty got to where she is, you gotta know where she started. 

Misty grew up in Virginia Beach, VA where she met her husband. In 2015 they had their first son and were living in a tiny townhouse. 

At this time, Misty was a busy stylist and her husband was an hourly employee for a company. They made okay money but they always felt broke. And they were always working, despite that, it never felt like they could ever get ahead. 

After dining at their usual (sub-par) restaurant, Misty and her husband would drive around one of the “fancier” neighbourhoods, dreaming wistfully about the life they wished they had. Misty used to say: “we picked the wrong careers, we’ll never be able to live here.” Never say never, friend.

For Misty and her husband, having grown up in lower-income households they thought that was their destiny. Until they decided to take fate into their own hands and got their finances together. 

It was the day that Misty sat down and combed through their bank statements and realized they were spending a minimum of $600 a month on going out to eat! Seeing that they were wasting $600 a month it was no wonder they were thinking they couldn’t afford a higher mortgage. 

That’s when they did some huge mindset and money spending shifts and it paid off (literally). In 2 years they were able to pay off $48,000 in debt – that included both of their cars and 5 credit cards. 

Wanna know the craziest part? They weren’t making more money. 

Instead, they were making different choices. And it ended up giving them their dream life and their dream home. Misty ended up buying a house in that “fancy” neighbourhood she used to drive around daydreaming about and she’s been there ever since. 

Now Misty talks candidly about money and is a money coach for hairstylists. She’s very passionate about helping hairstylists with their relationship around money. 

The Hairstylist’s Money Coach

Misty’s big goal is to help hairstylists understand that it’s not your career holding them back, it’s not your income that’s holding them back, you’re possibly holding yourself back due to mismanagement of money. 

She knows that in this industry you can bring home so much money, but there’s a lot of stylists who bring it home and don’t know what to do with it. Misty wants to help hairstylists have a better relationship with money and to not hate it, because honestly, it’s not the money’s fault. 

You can change your story. And it doesn’t have to be hard. 

At the end of 2020, Misty stopped doing hair. Not only did she and her husband buy their dream house, they were also able to pause an income and be completely fine. 

You might be wondering if it was hard for Misty to shift her finances and spending the way that she did and she admits to me that it wasn’t that hard. Although it’s certainly easy to just spend money. 

For Misty, the biggest shift was focusing on her “why”. It was a mindset shift and thinking about the short period of time that it takes to get rid of the debt. 2 years in the grand scheme of things is nothing. 

I’ve been really fortunate to never carry debt in my life (but to be honest, I hate having debt) and yet I still didn’t feel like I deserved the house Nick and I bought. For 6 months I would wake up with panic attacks and intrusive thoughts asking “are we going to be able to pay our mortgage?!” Thankfully, 3 years later we’re still doing a-okay. 

Misty’s super proud of the house she has but she still feels like an imposter in her neighbourhood, even after living there for 3 years. 

She admits she has a hard time not feeling like she’s “bragging” around her family. Her mom never got a chance to have the dream home that Misty’s now living in. 

Sometimes people think that because of how they grew up or because of the career they chose that this is just how life is going to be for them and that’s simply not true. 

You can do anything. But you have to put in the work, the action, the investment, the sacrifice. You can’t just sit around and dream, you have to actively do something. That is the hardest part, but once you start, it’s so easy.

It’s not a Budget, it’s a Plan

Misty promises the first time you start budgeting it’ll take a bit longer, but after that it’s easy. There are also so many tools that can help make it easy for you. There are apps and software that link directly to your bank account and do the work for you. Forget credit and debit ledgers, we truly are living in the 21st century. 

The misconception around budgeting is that people think it means you have to restrict yourself and Misty works to reframe it for her clients. 

A budget is not a restriction, a budget is a plan. 

A budget is being proactive, rather than being reactive. It’s giving your money a job before you even receive it. And that’s it. It’s simply a way for you to be aware of where your money is going. 

No one’s going to come at you and arrest you because you “overspend yesterday”, it’s all just for you. 

Misty shared with me the “maybe-tomorrow money” challenge and I absolutely loved it. If it’s something that’s not an absolute necessity, look at it and tell yourself “maybe I’ll get that tomorrow” and see how long you can do it. This helps you to stop impulsively or emotionally purchasing something and you might wake up tomorrow and go “what was that I thing I wanted to buy yesterday? I don’t remember at all”. 

In 2012 I did a no-consumerism year and it was so awesome. I will admit that my friend and I went to Vegas in December of 2011 and I needed something as a daily reminder that I was not going to spend money for a year and so I bought myself a Tiffany’s ring to start the challenge. 

It was ironic, but it worked. And it wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. I’ve also never gone back to buying clothing the same way I did before. 

One thing that year made me realize is that we spend money a lot of times to impress people, whether we realize it or not. 

Investing in Yourself

Misty recently got asked the question: why is it so easy to walk into Target and spend a couple hundred dollars but it’s so hard to spend a couple hundred dollars investing in yourself?

What a great question. Misty thinks it’s because we like to know what’s going to happen. When you walk into Target and you pick something out, that’s the thing you’re going to get. When you invest in yourself and your business there’s a risk in your mind of “what if I don’t get a return” and it’s your responsibility to follow through. 

We’re so quick to spend money on something that doesn’t matter. It’s important to have boundaries with yourself around spending money. 

Misty admits that the first 3 months that her and her husband started saving and budgeting they were incredibly strict. Too strict in fact. It was not sustainable. They didn’t go out to eat, and didn’t buy any comfort items. Her and her husband are social beings and really enjoy going out. 

They quickly realized that they couldn’t completely give up the things that they love to hit their goal or they wouldn’t follow through.  

Misty can’t stress how important it is to celebrate your wins and to budget for the things that you love. 

Honour the things that make you happy because you can’t put yourself in a prison. 

Everyone values something differently and that’s important to remember when talking with your significant other about budgeting. 

Financial Freedom

I know I used to be a dreamer of “when I finally make 6 figures life will be good”, but what if you could manage the money you have and have that freedom as well? 

The majority of time people want the money because they want that feeling of freedom. But it’s not really about the money, it’s about how we want to feel in the end. 

In Misty’s opinion, hairstylists get into the industry because we want to be creative, we want to have freedom and we get into thinking that we can just do the hair, make some money and that’s it. 

It absolutely kills Misty that you can google the average income of a hairstylist and it’ll tell you that it’s $25,000 a year and we know that’s total BS. It bothers Misty that hairstylists get so upset that clients, family, friends, or strangers don’t respect their business when you’re not treating your business like a business. 

You can’t be mad that other people don’t take your job seriously if you’re not taking your job seriously.

And Misty’s on a mission to change that. Her goal is that hairstylists take, not only their job seriously, but also their finances seriously. Let’s show the world that a wealthy stylist is a normal thing, not this anomaly everyone thinks it is. 

Look at every dollar as money to get you to your goals. And it all comes down to patience. You want it now and you want it quick so you choose to pay it off later. In reality, you’re paying more to do it faster and that has to come into consideration. If you do take out a loan or use credit, have a plan to pay it off and stick to the plan or you’ll drown yourself in debt. 

You have to choose the long-term win over the short-term comfort. It’s always going to be worth it. 

Wow, how freakin’ incredible is Misty? I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty inspired to go do some budgeting and create some spreadsheets! I love how she says budgets are just giving your money a job. So smart, right?

If you want more of Misty and want to start making more money, go send her a DM over on Instagram @_mistyjayne_. You can also check out the episode we recorded together for Misty’s podcast here. She seriously inspires me so much. I love how passionate she is about changing the industry. 

I’m so pumped you joined us, friend, it’s always so much fun hanging out. Hope to see ya in the next one.

Let’s be besties?