Nov 7, 2022

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What To Do When a Client Tries to Bypass Your Policies

mental health, personal, The Anxious Creative

hairstylist & client in mirror. Stylist wearing all black holding color brush in one hand & strand of clients hair in the other. Client sits looking into mirror w/red color on head. Black text below "why boundaries are important for mental health"

When you work in a customer-facing business and struggle with anxiety or depression dealing with people, clients, and relationships is really hard. I’m no stranger to anxiety-inducing situations and experiences. 

Keep reading and you’ll walk away knowing: 

  • That it’s okay to struggle

  • How to push past the roadblocks and speed bumps

  • What boundaries have to do with mental health

You’ll learn that you’re not alone in your struggles. It’s okay to have hard days, as long as you pick yourself up and keep going.

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Getting Back Up When Life Tries to Knock You Down

If there’s one thing I value more than anything (in myself and others) it’s honesty. And in all honesty, I’ve had my fair share of situations and experiences that have taken a toll and caused me to spiral into anxiety and panic attacks and put me into deep, dark depressions. 

Sometimes I struggle with my mental health simply because I do.

But one thing that’s helped me navigate life is learning what situations can trigger a mental health spiral and what things can help me get out of one. 

Medication has certainly been a component that’s helped me and maintaining a healthy lifestyle (when I can). But avoiding certain scenarios and situations with people has been the biggest shift. 

Hitting a Road Block

Now I got a feeling that you’ve got a big dream or goal that you’re working towards. And when we’re working towards a goal, the thing that most often holds us back is the fear of confrontation, the fear of conflict, or the fear of people being upset. 

But it’s important to keep pushing forward and going toward the things that you know you want in your life. 

I recently listened to a podcast where they said: “By the time we achieve the things and goals that we wanted, they’re not the things and goals that we want.” And I thought that was a really interesting way of looking at it. 

I know on my own journey toward my goals, there have been speed bumps and roadblocks that have made me want to stop, quit, turn around, run back, and be safe. And it’s definitely affected my mental health. 

And I recently got an email from a student. Now I teach a lot about boundaries, communication, and how to navigate those things. That’s the type of student that I want to attract, someone who’s wanting to learn how to communicate better, set healthy boundaries, and confidently implement changes in their business. 

So when I got an email from someone who wanted to take advantage of my kindness and when they didn’t get what they wanted, they tried to scoot around a policy I have in my business. 

Communicating Policies

So this person was trying to bypass the policy and my team compassionately let them know that if they wanted to get around the policy, this is what they needed to do. 

They responded with: “I’ve lost all respect for you, Dawn”. 

And I’ll be honest with you, that stung. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, at my core, one of my deepest desires is just to have people like me. And when someone says something like “I’ve lost all respect for you”, it makes me want to have a kneejerk reaction of trying to make everything better. 

But the reality is, if you try to water yourself down so that everyone likes you, no one’s gonna like you. 

When you’re going to be really good for certain people, it means there are going to be other people that really don’t like you. 

Because when you hone in on who you serve, who you’re about, and who you’re helping, the people that don’t click with that get vocal for some reason (I think maybe they feel left out). 

And when those people get vocal about it, it makes me feel depressed and worthless, and it messes with my mental health. I completely forget all the other people that I have helped and I zone in on the one thing that’s seemingly telling me otherwise

Honesty & Transparency 

Having someone use that as a tactic to get what they want was really hard. 

You see, I’m much more willing to work with someone who’s being honest and transparent, instead of someone trying to manipulate the situation. 

I really value connecting with people that are authentically themselves and not trying to be something to get a result. Because it doesn’t stress me out or spiral me into anxiety. Instead, it helps me understand where they’re coming from. 

A lot of times manipulation is a learned tactic when people don’t know how to be transparent or they think honesty isn’t going to what them what they want.  

I’ve learned that when people can be transparent and honest with me, I have so much more compassion and I’m more willing to make exceptions. 

I can feel when someone is coming at me aggressively and manipulatively. And it makes me question my self-worth and value and instantly makes me spiral into anxiety wondering what I did wrong. 

Respond, Don’t React

In the past, when I’ve been manipulated, I’ve caved into it. And I end up walking away feeling even worse than I did at the start. 

It’s almost like you’re doing something at the moment to ease the discomfort because the anxiety and the stress of it are just too much, and then you walk away feeling even more uncomfortable, wondering what just happened. 

And so I wanted to share this with you; there’s not any real lesson or anything, but I want you to know that if someone’s appearing a certain way and you think there might be ulterior motives, allow yourself time to breathe and think in those scenarios. You don’t have to react right away. 

I don’t want you to do something because someone has trigged a fear response out of you. 

I want to remind you that you, regardless of what you struggle with, or what people have told you in the past, are a human being that is beautiful, loved, accepted, worthy, and so valuable. 

And that worth and value isn’t based on how happy you can make other people. It’s not based on the opinions that other people have of you or their perceptions of you. It’s not based on the misunderstandings people have, but just you, as a person, regardless of what you can do for other people. 

Don’t ever forget that you’re a big deal and you can do hard things

And before I sign off, I have a little challenge for you: I want to challenge you to make your day today. 

Think of something you can do for yourself and only you today; whether it’s 5 minutes or an hour, whatever you can get. I want you to do something purely and 110% selfish for you to appreciate yourself and who you are. 

I hope you’re walking away from this post feeling refreshed with some new tools in your tool belt to help you with those moments. 

Thanks again for spending some time with me, friend. I always love to hear from you, shoot me a DM over on Instagram @dawnbradleyhair and let me know you came from the blog. 

Until next time!

Let’s be besties?

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I am just a small-town, Canadian gal from the prairies who teaches thousands of creatives around the globe how to earn 6-figures stress-free!

Hey, I’m Dawn!

“Rock Your Business” Course Creator, Host of “The Anxious Creative” Podcast. Named by Salon Magazine as Canada’s #1 women of influence.

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